Friday, December 18

Threads of Fate

A few days ago I had an epiphany, while writing. It ended up in this form:

We are flying over the blackness now
very high.

The plane roars with power, and in its center
our peace.

No one is above or below, before or behind.

There is no need to talk, understand, decide;

it is what is.

Tonight I had another epiphany. At its center, it was this: that I need to have epiphanies more often. They usually bring information that I already know, but which has been drowned out in a mass of thoughts, of less valuable information. During the epiphany, the essential is clear, it reverberates, all else is quieted, and I am full of a great dynamic acceptance.

It's very tempting to approach everything backwards, starting with the emanations, because that's what we see before us. But that's not really how things are. Everything starts with attunement, emotions, which are so similar to sound. In that sense everything starts with composure.

Virtually all great people were great because they were able to tap in to that state of higher understanding. Although it is possible to coast on one's previous achievements, to recycle them, or to achieve a comfortable balance and then cease to tap in. Two contradictory things are true at the same time: on one hand, when we are lost, we are meant to be lost, which is often a comforting thought... and we aren't actually lost, but on an obscure path. On the other hand, at any given moment there is what we truly are, what we are truly meant to be doing, and without inspiration our current lives are only shadows of that true life.

For me, rather than concentrate on 'what I am meant to be doing right now,' I would do best to concentrate on training myself to tap in more regularly. It's something I've tried to do before with journal writing sessions, to no avail. I need to learn something on a deeper level. It's been done before, and studied before, with however mixed results, and I need to use those resources and keep them focused on my specific ends.

Sunday, December 13